Dicks, bitches, fucking assholes: Or 'There is no Island of Misfit Cooks' pt2

Cooks are often romanticized as nomadic characters, running on the boundary of society, living hard, playing hard, just as likely to be in jail as at work. When it comes to upper end dining, That's pretty much a load of bullshit. While the industry does allows flexibility in the character of it's employees, some core qualities are still required. You have to give a damn. You have to show up. You have to do drugs on your own time (preferably not on your own time right before work, that's a bad idea). You don't drink until your shift is mostly over, but generally follow the lead of management. You can't be a fucking dick. This last statement needs some qulaifying. There are a lot of dicks in the kitchen. I'm one. However there is a major difference between a dick and a fucking dick or a fucking asshole. A dick can be compulsive, moody, mildly confrontational (overly confrontational and your a fucking dick), a smart ass, and sophmoric. Sometimes the dick rubs you the wrong way, most of the time you tolerate them because, well, your probably a dick to. But under that all, a dick just really wants good food to go out the window. When that ceases to be the focus, when things become unstable, when pettiness becomes paramount, the dick can become a bitch. Being a bitch can be tolerable as long as the job gets done and not too many people are getting pissed off. When the bitch becomes a fucking asshole, it's all over. A fucking asshole, or fucking dick, can rip the gentle fabric of kitchen cohesiveness as if it were so many yards of charmin. Why is this even an issue? In most businesses people follow rules of conduct that try and prevent coworkers from aggravating other coworkers. You know like acting professional, being a grown up blah blah blah. (Yeah, well other businesses don't have employees slumped over a stove for six to ten hours straight. Of course, there are a lot of dicks, bitches, and fucking assholes in the real world. They're just harder to spot initially due to the superficial curtiousness.) You see cooks don't make a lot of money. Since there is little financial motivation to cook, pay in this market is pretty much capped at ten bucks an hour for a line cook, you aren't necessarily attracting the best and brightest. (There is a resurgence in cooking over the last fifteen years or so. More people are going to cooking school, more college age students are going into the kitchen instead of getting Philosophy, or Art History degrees. Being a Chef has become more fashionable; few realizing the actual effort it takes to become succesful though.) Hiring some kid with no experience because he seems like a good kid. Hiring a potentially burned out seasoned pro with too much experience, because talent is needed at an untalented price (big red flag, potential fucking dick). All in all though, it is hard, stressful work that requires skills, cooking and otherwise, that few truly possess. So here we are, the kitchen is populated by potential malcontents, why? In order to work under these conditions, for this pay you have to be a little bent. You care about food, you really believe you can be successful at it, you like the lifestyle, and/or you don't know how to do anything else.