Line Games

Recently, thanks to Anthony Bourdain and others, there has been an idealization of what happens on the line. The shit talk, the towel snapping, things happening to food that customers don't want to know about, drugs, drinking, screwing, all of these things have happened, will happpen, and are happening in kitchens. I don't go for most of that. I work sober, don't shit where I eat, don't chase FOH tail, try not to talk shit, but what I do go for is a little game I like to call 'In your head'. It's easy, it's all about getting a shitty song stuck in someone elses head without it getting stuck in yours. This may sound childish, and simple, but I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth. If you've been on the line for say six hours, are mentally frayed and physically spent simple pursuits elevate to heroic proportions. Just on little phrase can send your coworker into an internal turmoil. "Turn around...bright eyes". That 's the most direct route. Just sing the hook to some really bad tune and hope it catches. Just like "Skyrockets in flight". THe more round about method, and here is where I really love the freedom, is change the lyrics and start singing the new rendition. If you can attach a menu item even better. 'Ropa, Ropa Vieja (to the tune of CopaCabana)'. My favorite is the chorus to that crappy Cranberries tune 'Zombie'. It's mindless, repetetive, insipid, and easily singable, exactly what you want to get caught in someone elses head. If you don't work in a kitchen, try it anyway. Go up to a coworker in the office and start singing "Going to lunch, gonna grab a bite , gonna eat my sandwhich and drink my sprite...Oh oh oh gonna drink a sprite(afternoon delight).