working angry

You know, when it's 7:30 on a Friday I'm pissed. I've been on my feet for seven or eight hours by that point, and there's three or four more to go. I'm pissed. I'm not itchin' for a fight. I don't even really dislike anyone. I'm just pissed off, and every order that comes in pisses me off more. Not because I hate cooking or I hate the food I'm making (if either where the case I'd be doing something else). Perhaps it is a purely male, testosterone laden perspective, but it's like a competition. The Customers, the tickets, myself more specifically, are my opponents and in order for me to win I have to put out everything perfectly and timely. Now most of the time it's not like I'm seething with anger and cursing the old couple on table 10. I do cook with joy. But when the tickets start coming, you dig in, cook your ass off and fight to stay on top of everything. You focus, stay under control, and let the adrenaline flow. Staying in control is the key to everything. Maintain focus, maintain timing, maintain quality. It is at the most stressful times that the anger comes out. It is a competitive anger not a directed anger. It is an internal anger. One that will kick my own ass if I let down and don't do something right. Sure I'll get pissed if some dumbass comes in looking for ranch dressing, tartar sauce and a well done steak, but that's more just annoyance. Intensity and anger can be inseperable. People talk about professional athletes playing with passion, playing with fire. It looks like there pissed to me. We admire them. We admire their competitiveness. There is no difference. When one pushes oneself to perform at a high level that focus and intesnity easily manifests as anger. Now don't get me wrong there are those misguided dicks online that are just poorly adjusted assholes pissed at the world, unable to seperate their own self loathing from their hatred of humanity. But then again we get all sorts in the kitchen. Regardless everyone in a kitchen gets pissed. The get angry, they get focused and most of the time they do there job.

Line Games

Recently, thanks to Anthony Bourdain and others, there has been an idealization of what happens on the line. The shit talk, the towel snapping, things happening to food that customers don't want to know about, drugs, drinking, screwing, all of these things have happened, will happpen, and are happening in kitchens. I don't go for most of that. I work sober, don't shit where I eat, don't chase FOH tail, try not to talk shit, but what I do go for is a little game I like to call 'In your head'. It's easy, it's all about getting a shitty song stuck in someone elses head without it getting stuck in yours. This may sound childish, and simple, but I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth. If you've been on the line for say six hours, are mentally frayed and physically spent simple pursuits elevate to heroic proportions. Just on little phrase can send your coworker into an internal turmoil. "Turn around...bright eyes". That 's the most direct route. Just sing the hook to some really bad tune and hope it catches. Just like "Skyrockets in flight". THe more round about method, and here is where I really love the freedom, is change the lyrics and start singing the new rendition. If you can attach a menu item even better. 'Ropa, Ropa Vieja (to the tune of CopaCabana)'. My favorite is the chorus to that crappy Cranberries tune 'Zombie'. It's mindless, repetetive, insipid, and easily singable, exactly what you want to get caught in someone elses head. If you don't work in a kitchen, try it anyway. Go up to a coworker in the office and start singing "Going to lunch, gonna grab a bite , gonna eat my sandwhich and drink my sprite...Oh oh oh gonna drink a sprite(afternoon delight).

back again

Just wrapped up a hectic month. Two independent catering gigs and a move left me a little drowsy, a little ragged, a little spun. Unfortunately I dig the adrenaline. After putting in 80 hours in the kitchen each of the last two weeks, I feel like I'm slacking by just working one job. It's not unusual for one to put in so many hours in this business. If you're an owner or on salary it's expected. What it does to me is put question in the old noggin'. "Am I doing enough?" I could work more, learn more, get there faster. Of course this is ridiculous, and due to my inherent love of sloth, I am in no threat of picking up a third job. What it does show is what I can do when I need to, when I need to take advantage of opportunities. I can stretch myself thin occasionally and pull it off, if for a good reason.

Schedule

Should be wrapping up a crazy month in the next week. 2 catering jobs in addition to the two restaurant jobs. Pretty hectic, but worth it. While the catering thing can be a hassle it allows me to get back to menu planning. It's a good excercise. Creating a balanced, executable menu, that is reasonable for the customer and fitting for the occasion. It's good to spread the proverbial wings and make my own food. See what I would do with the seasonal ingredients. I couldn't do the catering thing for a living though. I like the planning aspect, but I hate the waiting. You know what you need to do, but can only prepare the food within a day or two of the event. You know you're going to be busy but there is very little you can do to ease that.

Gonna find my baby
Gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some Afternoon Delight
My motto's always been when it's right it's right
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night

When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be here anyway

Think of you is working up an appetite
Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight
Rubbing sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting
Skyrockets in flight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always thought a fish could not be caught who didn't bite
But you got some bait a'waitin and I think I might
Like nibbling a little Afternoon Delight

Skyrockets in flight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight

Be waiting for me baby when I come around
We can make a lot of luvin' fore the sun go down

Think of you is working up an appetite
Looking forward to a little Afternoon Delight
Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
And the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting
Skyrockets in flight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight
Afternoon Delight

Intro: / Em C Em C /

See the curtains hanging in the window
In the evening on a Friday night
A little light a-shining through the window
Lets me know every thing's all right

/ Em G / D A E C / :

{Refrain}
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine
Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

/ Am - Bm - / C - G - / :

See the paper laying on the sidewalk
A little music from the house next door
So I walk on up to the door step
Through the screen and across the floor

{Refrain}

Sweet days of summer, the jasmine's in bloom
July is dressed up and playing her tune
When I come home from a hard day's work
And you're waiting there, not a care in the world

/ Em C Em C / / Am - Bm - / /

See the smile a waiting in the kitchen
Food cooking and the plates for two
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me
In the evening when the day is through