2 years and counting

There is a transient nature to what I do. Rarely does anyone stay in one place for longer than a year. It seems that I've spent more time looking for steady work than steadily working. I've now been at Alba for two years. This is the longest I've been at a restaurant. I still have the fear. The fear of instability. The fear of not knowing if the next check is going to be enough, if there is even going to be a next check. With the recent success, the steady growing success, these fears are subsiding. Whats replacing them is confidence in my abilities. Finally I've been at one place long enough to actually hone skills. I can focus on improving in stead of wasting energy adapting and tryin to get comfortable in a kitchen. I can actually become a better cook. I now make pasta. I make pasta well. In a year, I will make pasta very well. I have been repeating things. And with this repetition comes competance. I have been at the cafe for a year and a half now. While the food isn't challenging it is another venue that requires me to maximize time, cook quickly, and cook clean. The food is worth respecting; therefore my work must be respectful. I am fast. I can adjust on the fly and I can flip the switch when needed. All I really needed was a place to stay and believe in. Oh, and to screw my head on straight. Timing is vital. Three or four years ago I wouldn't have been in the right place to take advantage of these opportunities. I would've been fine, but I wouldn't have excelled. I needed to be broken. To be forced to make the decision between the life I was leading and the professional goals that I wanted to attain. So many restaurants. So many cuisines. I wanted to believe in them all. Busted dreams, but they were other peoples dreams. Mine are still alive. My dreams are cockroaches. I couldn't kill them if I wanted to.

Long month

It seems as if I post this more than anything else, but 'it's been a damn long month'. Two days off in October. Left little time and even less energy to post. I went to New York in the beginning of September. I ate good food. Saw good music. hung out with good people. It's been a whirlwind of work since getting back. Staffing problems at the Cafe and increased business at Alba has made for all work no play. Regardless I wouldn't be anywhere else. I think I'm approaching the point in the craft of cooking (as in the pursuit of any craft) in which everything I do becomes referential. In that I have developed and honed basic techniques, while learning specific cuisines. When I decide I want to make something it is not some idea I'm pulling from the aether it is derived from the food and techniques I've used in the past. What I make is therefore more grounded. And being grounded there is a greater chance for success. I am getting better at having an idea of what I want to make, making it, and having the end product be very close to the original idea. The guessing game is giving way to craft.