2 years and counting

There is a transient nature to what I do. Rarely does anyone stay in one place for longer than a year. It seems that I've spent more time looking for steady work than steadily working. I've now been at Alba for two years. This is the longest I've been at a restaurant. I still have the fear. The fear of instability. The fear of not knowing if the next check is going to be enough, if there is even going to be a next check. With the recent success, the steady growing success, these fears are subsiding. Whats replacing them is confidence in my abilities. Finally I've been at one place long enough to actually hone skills. I can focus on improving in stead of wasting energy adapting and tryin to get comfortable in a kitchen. I can actually become a better cook. I now make pasta. I make pasta well. In a year, I will make pasta very well. I have been repeating things. And with this repetition comes competance. I have been at the cafe for a year and a half now. While the food isn't challenging it is another venue that requires me to maximize time, cook quickly, and cook clean. The food is worth respecting; therefore my work must be respectful. I am fast. I can adjust on the fly and I can flip the switch when needed. All I really needed was a place to stay and believe in. Oh, and to screw my head on straight. Timing is vital. Three or four years ago I wouldn't have been in the right place to take advantage of these opportunities. I would've been fine, but I wouldn't have excelled. I needed to be broken. To be forced to make the decision between the life I was leading and the professional goals that I wanted to attain. So many restaurants. So many cuisines. I wanted to believe in them all. Busted dreams, but they were other peoples dreams. Mine are still alive. My dreams are cockroaches. I couldn't kill them if I wanted to.