Only one thing could bring me out of virtual retirement

Ok, it's been awhile. I stepped away from the keyboard and focused on work, of which there was far too much. I have since quit one of the jobs. I now find myself with free time on my hands and deteriorating writing skills. With that in mind I've been considering starting this little exercise in masturbation one more time. I think I have a little more focus now, a reinvigorated view into the politics of food, a taste of Italy in Italy and a recent interest into the slow food movement. However all of this still hasn't been enough to kick my ass and get me to start posting again. Until today that is.


I generally abhor trade magazines. They tend to pander to the lowest common denominator of the food industry. Adds full of frozen breaded jalapeno chicken poppers, IQF avocado slicers, and pre-mashed cheddar bacon tater mashers. For some reason though, today was the last straw. Today I saw something too offensive though. So offensive that I recognized fully why other cultures hate, loathe, laugh at, and mock us. A product that the book of revelation might as well have been written on, for surely it is a sign of the end times. Fucking day-glo colored, soy bean, sushi wrappers! Why?! Was sushi not novelty enough? Was it not eye catching enough? Is this the gateway to fucking brand names on the rolls themselves? Like the nascar car of food? Will it help the customer to distinguish between the individual rolls themselves..."No honey, the chartreuse roll is the 'rocka makki, tuna roll. The banana yellow roll is the Krazy Krab Snacker roll.'" Will it end with just colors? How about fun new flavours as well. Zesty Chipotle, Cool Sour Cream and Bacon, Spicy Habanero and Mango! Mmmmmm.....Dorito flavored fucking sushi! Fuck! Obviously nothing is sacred, I've learned that by now (I mean shit, have you tried to find just regular macaroni shaped Kraft Mac and Cheese?) but damn. Sushi is one of the purest expressions of unadulterated food. Good fish, perfectly cooked and seasoned rice, soy and wasabi. Does this simple, perfectly refined food need the shellacking of filth? Will our dwindling oceanic resources be plundered just for the sake of filling a goddamn electric blue bubble soy wrapper just because we are so sensually dulled that we need bright colors to incite reaction like some fat bellied Florida bass going after a plastic rattling worm? Disheartening stuff indeed. We are smarter than that. Our traditional food is better than that and deserves more. This is not a matter of novelty or tittilation. It is a matter of right or wrong, good or bad. Valuing real food grown and produced by real people with real nutritional value , or validating the continued processing, distancing, and devaluation of what is our most important resource and pleasure.